


Proof of Existence

by Storiesofstars



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Bonding, Character Analysis, During Canon, Friendship/Love, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, dealing with insecurities, lyric writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24605590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storiesofstars/pseuds/Storiesofstars
Summary: Ren has been tasked with writing the lyrics for their new song. Wataru has agreed to help him. But this lyric session reveals more than they both intended.
Relationships: Matoba Wataru & Nanahoshi Ren, Matoba Wataru/Nanahoshi Ren, Nanahoshi Ren/Matoba Wataru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	Proof of Existence

**Author's Note:**

> Because episode 9 wouldn't give me a wataren lyric writing scene I decided I'd make one myself. Seriously they need more screen time together. Anyways, enjoy!

"Hm..."

Ren held his blue mechanical pencil in his right hand, tapping it every so often to the page in front of him. He'd go to write something, only to pull back and start thinking again. This was perhaps the 14th time Wataru observed this, as the two of them sat alone in Submariner, at approximately 19:17 in the evening. Rio had suggested it should be Ren to write the lyrics to their new song, and that Wataru would give his support in order to make that happen. 

Both of those things were much easier said than done. 

Ren had been anything but chatty that evening, and Wataru had never written lyrics with anyone else before, much less a person like Ren. He had no idea what was going on in his head, and didn't have the first clue as to how to help him. He instead took another sip of his almost room temperature coffee and looked around, as if doing so would somehow magically give him the answers. 

"Aah..."

A sigh brought his attention back to the troubled young man in front of him, who was now tapping the pencil against his temple. This time there were a few new words on the page, although the remnants of eraser shavings and scribbles indicated there had been more at one point.

"...Wataru."

"Hm?" His head jerked up more suddenly than he wanted. 

"Is writing lyrics always this difficult?"

He laughed weakly.

"Well, yeah. Some days are better than others, at least for me. Some days I can barely get a few words out. But it's your first time, so it's okay if it's hard to get a handle on."

"Mmh, I get that, it's just..."

Wataru leaned in closer with his arms resting on the table. 

"It's just?"

"...there's so much I want to say. All these thoughts swirling around in my head. But I don't know how to put them into words."

Ah, he knew that feeling, being unable to find the right words to express exactly how you feel. The downside to language as a whole, when feelings transcended human language. But figuring out that part was also part of the reason he loved writing lyrics so much, pushing as far as he could against the barriers that words carried with them.

"I understand, that's how I feel most of the time as well."

"Eh? You do?"

"Oh definitely! I mean, you remember me mulling over Goal Line's lyrics, right?"

"That's true... so, what do you do? When the lyrics won't come out?"

"Hmm, let me see... well, a change of pace is always good. Though I'm not one to talk, breaks are a necessary part of the creative process, especially if we've become so engrossed to the point that our tunnel vision can't comprehend anything outside of it, like other viewpoints."

He thought back to the countless messages Yuuto had sent him, reminding him to take a break from the hours upon hours of lyric writing sessions he would accidentally slip into.

"Other viewpoints, huh..."

"Usually in that case I go for a walk for a change of scenery, try reading or watching something I haven't before, try to gain a new perspective."

"A new perspective..."

Suddenly Ren stood up.

"Eh- Ren-"

"Let's go then."

"Go?"

"For a change of scenery. To gain a new perspective."

* * *

After letting Master know what they were doing, the two of them set off for a destination unknown- or rather, a destination unspecified. Wataru insisted Ren take the lead, and provided backup with his phone in hand in case he needed directions. They passed through the park, walked through the school campus, passed by the karaoke place, they even wandered around some of the residential areas. Wataru would ask every now and then if Ren was doing okay, or if he'd thought of something, only to be met with a hum or a defeated "not yet..."

As the last of the sun began to set, and the navy night sky enveloped the orange glow, they found themselves by the harbour front. The street lights were just beginning to turn on.

"This is a lot harder than I thought."

"Yeah, unfortunately the words just don't come sometimes. At this point I usually leave them be and make myself go to bed, but-" he cut himself short, sighing. He knew that wasn't an option, there was no way they could call it a night. If only the timeline wasn't so strict... but I guess this is what they would have to work through in the professional world; might as well get used to it now.

He expected Ren to start walking again, but he stood perfectly still, the glow of the soft yellow light from the street lamp next to them casting over him. His eyes were fixated on something far away. 

"Wataru?"

"Hm?"

"Do you... do you think it was a mistake for me to write the lyrics?"

"Wha- where is this coming from?"

Ren to a couple steps forward, placing his hands on the metal rail in front of him.

"Words have never been my strong suit. And I don't know if they ever will be. To be given such a task... I just don't know if I can do it."

"You can, and I'm going to make sure of it. Ren, I'm going to help you in any way I can, okay? You can rely on me."

A half-hearted hum was his response, in turn frustrating Wataru that Ren didn't believe him.

The water below them softly crashed along the concrete landings, the only noise filling the silence along with the occasional ship horn, and the ambient chatter of the few people around them.

"You know-" Ren started suddenly, looking out past the harbour, boats of various kinds sailing in the horizon, some with lights and some you could just barely make out in the growing darkness, "lately I've been thinking about the days when I was still by myself- how I chose to be by myself. And all the work I did to get better at singing. I don't think any of it was in vain, and I'm glad I could sing that way. But... being in Argonavis, with everyone, I've begun to realize things I never would have if I were still by myself. And encountering GYROAXIA has made that even more apparent. Thinking about it now, it was that band all the way back then that gave me that feeling in the first place, and imagining meeting other bands in that way too, it's exciting."

"Mmh, it sure is."

"And yet..."

Wataru noticed Ren's shoulders tensing.

"Sometimes I worry... about not finding it. There are days when I feel it, like it's just within my grasp, but others it feels so far away, that no matter how far I reach out, how hard I work, I'll never reclaim that feeling again... what if I never do? What if we make it all the way to Des Fes, and I stand on that stage, only to- to-"

His throat was closing in on itself as he struggled to get the words out.

"I’ve been fighting so hard up until now. And here I am wanting to give up... just because I'm bad with words. I can't- I have to do better. But I don't know how... I feel so stuck."

"Ren..."

A single tear rolling down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, not wanting Wataru to see him crying so pathetically.

"...you're really something, you know that?"

"Eh?" He looked to his left to see Wataru standing beside him, looking out to the horizon as well.

"Your determination, and your passion... they’re both unmatched by anything I've ever seen before. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous."

"Ah-"

"But I have faith, y'know? Even if it can't be found here again, at that festival, or in this town, that just means we'll have to set our sights even higher. What you felt back then might not even be the same feeling now, because of these new experiences you've had, and how you've grown as a person. We can keep climbing higher and higher, together. And..." he gently sighed, "if the worst is to come, and you don't find it... that doesn't mean everything you've done up until now has been for nothing, right? Like you said."

Ren's eyes widened.

"The Ren you were when you first felt that feeling, when you quit your school choir, when you continued singing by yourself, and who you are now with Argonavis, none of those versions of yourself are in vain. Big or small, you've made your mark on the world."

_I mean, you've made your mark on me..._

"That's your proof of existence. Your voice, your presence, everything that you are... none of that will be in vain even if you don't find that feeling again."

He looked to Ren, eyes full of compassion. "That's not to say you should give up. Keep fighting. Keep searching for that feeling. But I think as long as you find happiness in what you do, that's fulfilling in itself, don't you think?"

"Wataru..."

He looked at his hand, the one that was slightly damp from his lonely tear. Happiness... the thought of being in a band all those weeks ago brought him the first feelings of happiness he'd felt in, well, as long as he'd forgotten. All the time he'd spent with Argonavis, the beginnings of their formation, the trials they'd faced, the days practicing in the studio, the lunches they'd gone out for, the group chat messages he'd read through before bed... maybe... had he been too fixated on finding that feeling to not even notice how much happier he'd been?

A grumbling interrupted his train of thought. 

"Ah-" he blushed, averting his eyes as he heard Wataru chuckling.

"It's past that time, isn't it? I'm getting pretty hungry myself. Shall we go get some dinner? I know exactly where we should go."

15 minutes later they were walking back to Submariner with a bag of Lucky Pierrot each. Ren had already started on his first Chinese Chicken burger, while Wataru shook his head and smiled fondly.

"Lappi never fails to brighten your mood, does it?"

"Mmh!"

He chuckled again as they started walking towards Hachimanzaka slope, back to the cafe. Back to work. Back to pondering over the lyrics. Back to watching Ren erase and cross out words he'd written just moments before... and even after all this he still had no idea how to help him. 

_Do better, huh..._

Wataru knew that feeling all too well, it haunted him even in the most mundane of tasks. And he too was at a standstill. Faced with a target that was forever moving out of reach, he couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite, being unable to take his own words to heart while trying to get Ren to believe them, who was trying to continue forward on his own path.

"Wataru?"

He looked up, noticing he'd stopped at the base of the slope while Ren had started climbing. He found it oddly fitting.

"Ah... sorry."

His legs suddenly felt heavier than before. The feeling of being left behind because of his own weakness...

"Thank you for what you said earlier, by the way."

"Eh?"

"I think I realized something important, something that I wouldn't have if you hadn't said anything. And, well, I'm going to try really hard to believe in those words... though I can't make any promises."

Wataru could only stare in awe. His genuine sincerity for the things he couldn't even believe himself...

He began to laugh, trying to ignore the stinging in his eyes.

"Eh? Did I say something weird?"

"No, no, not at all... you really are something special, Ren." 

He made his way to Ren's side, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"You truly have left your mark on me."

"Eh?"

He continued walking, feeling his face growing warmer.

* * *

01:32 in the morning. Master had long since gone home, leaving a spare key with the boys for when they decided to go home for the night. And yet the two of them were still at it. Ren had written a few more lines since they returned, but strangely enough he found himself talking with Wataru- about the other members mostly. 

"And that was possibly the stupidest thing Yuu has ever said in one of our lectures."

"Heh, that sounds like Yuuto alright."

"I swear he'll never learn."

Ren smiled. Suddenly a phrase popped into his head, and he quickly wrote it down. That's the method they'd decided on: every time Ren thought of something, anything at all, he would write it down. Once he had enough words, at least enough for Wataru to make some sense of it, they'd work together to figure out a coherent line of lyrics. 

"Hmm, what'd you come up with this time?"

Wataru peaked over the table, trying to make out the word upside down.

"N...nice to m-eet... you?"

"Mmh. The very first day we met, I don't think I'll ever forget that. It was maybe the most excited anyone has ever been to greet me."

A tinge of sadness pricked at Wataru. Even though Ren had chosen to be alone, he was still susceptible to loneliness, same as anyone else. 

This continued as they talked about the others (Banri, thank you, for joining the band and completing their constellation, Rio, see you, when they parted ways after trying to convince him to join, only to meet up again to practice their very first song Goal Line)

As Ren began writing down something else, Wataru tried to make it out as he wrote.

"S...sorry?"

"Mmh. Because... all the times I turned down the offer to join. Even though you were so persistent-"

"No no, I think you were more than in the right to turn us down, any sane person would."

"And you reassured me that."

"Eh?"

Ren reached into his coat pocket, producing a business card.

"That card... wait, that isn't-?"

"Mmh, the Submariner business card you gave me back then. Without it I never would have made it here. You told me you’d give up persuading me if I didn't want to come, but also to believe in you. And I have, all this time. So... I'm sorry that it took me so long to get here."

Wataru was speechless. This time around he couldn't stop the crashing emotions inside of him as he lowered his face, his hands folded to cover his eyes with his elbows resting on the table.

"Ah- Wataru? A-are you okay?"

He shakily took in a breath.

"Nanahoshi Ren... you are truly something special."

"Wataru?"

"Maybe... perhaps Yuu was right, about this being fate. I'm not exactly sure if I believe in fate myself, but meeting you," he raised his head, warm tears falling, "it was no coincidence. I'm so grateful. For everything you've done, for us and with us. For bringing my lyrics to life, and helping Argonavis sail. It really couldn’t have been anyone else.”

Ren, moved by his words, felt the prickling of tears in his own eyes, only this time he didn't try to hide it. 

"Wataru... your lyrics have helped my voice soar. And your support has kept me grounded. I… I can’t thank you enough. Please, keep helping me to reach even greater heights with Argonavis!”

"Of course."

They both laughed tearily, and after fishing some tissues out from Wataru's bag, they got back to the lyrics. The next thing he wrote down was something Wataru had said earlier:

“Proof of Existence...”

“Mmh. Because… you reminded me what I've already done. My mark on the world. And I'll continue to leave these marks, with you, and Argonavis.”

* * *

They didn't remember falling asleep, but when they awoke it was by the gentle nudge of Master, who'd just come into the cafe to open. When Ren looked down, to see a clean sheet of paper free from eraser shavings and graphite scribbles with the finished lyrics, and the title "Starry Line" etched at the top, he cried out, overjoyed that they'd actually done it. Wataru couldn't have been prouder. 

They showed the lyrics to everyone, and they all loved them. They practiced their butts off for the remaining days before the live stream. And when Ren counted down the seconds before they went live, he saw Wataru out of the corner of his eye, with that reassuring smile.

_Go Ren. I'll be here to catch you if you fall. Let your voice soar. Leave your mark on the world._


End file.
